I don't know of anyone who has woke up 1 day and said let's "Be Sick". Dis-ease creeps up on you in tiny baby steps. Like me - you just don't get sick overnight. Slowly I began to notice how it was taking longer to do what I had done every day for years. I loved my job. No way was I going to let a little respiratory issue stop me from doing what I wanted to do. I didn't get to be a champion in the equestrian arena by being a quitter. Instead, I became a person who tolerated a dis-ease process brewing inside my body. If I had been my child or 1 of my 4 legged friends this would be unthinkable. I'd find a winning solution
Until the day came when I realized I was just putting 1 foot in front of the other to get through the day. It was time to find another doctor.
It was finally time to take 1 of my student's suggestion. Carol was a nurse in a private practice.. She promised me her boss would not treat me like all of the rest of the doctors. I didn't need a pill pusher. It had become all too obvious. Antibiotics weren't working.
I drove more than an hour to her office. I realized in a hurry Carol had more belief in her doctor than I did. A routine cursory exam resulted in "everyone in this are has rales in their lungs. We live near petrochemical plants.". Rales were the little clicking or rattling sounds in my lungs I heard when I inhaled. He refused to do chest X-rays or a CBC (complete blood count). You could say I became a "difficult" patient. Not my problem. I refused to leave the patient room. Enough was enough. I wanted tests performed. I wanted to be treated like I would have insisted my child or animal would be treated. I would become my own patient advocate.
When the doctor realized the patient's advocate was seriously not leaving, he ordered a chest X-ray. When the X-ray was totally white, it was his opinion the film was bad. After the 3rd attempt, he decided just may be the patient's advocate might be on the right path. The doctor ordered a CBC. I was sent home to await the results.
This was before cell phones were in every person's back pocket or purse. By the time I arrived back home, Carol was ringing my phone off the wall. Yes, phones were located on walls waaaay back then. I was instructed to go directly to bed - do not go to the barn. I had a severe case of "walking" pneumonia. Excuse me? I had to fight with your boss to even get a chest X-ray & now he thinks I belong in bed? Not going to happen. Just call in the prescription.
Another 6 months would pass before I put aside my "tolerance" of just putting 1 foot in front of the other to make it through the things I loved but now could barely get done.
What are you tolerating?
If you are ready to release & let go of that which no longer serves your then it's time to chat. - Just scroll to the top of this page & click on CONTACT ME.
I was going to college, when not in class I was working in a Fortune 500 company's employee benefits department, training hunter/jumper equestrians & their mounts all while buying/training/showing & selling my own horses . I always at least 1 "made" (finished) champion & 2 or 3 "green" (not so made) horses of my own in training. I had a very busy life with no room for hospital visits.
I had no idea I was having a health challenge. Most of us don't until the day arrives that your body says "I can't keep up with your schedule any longer".
That day appeared while I was in the air on my Silver Lining grey mare. It was in a Gran Prix class. When she landed, I was passed out.. Hours of training "Blue" on what my childhood trainer called an "emergency dismount" worked! When she felt me lying on her neck, she slowed to a walk. She stopped at the arena wall. I have no clue how long a nap I had.
I still had no idea what was going on with my body. I didn't feel any different than before I entered the arena. I loaded up the horses & hugged my students as I congratulated them on another week of their winning ways.
Traditionally, Monday is the day most equestrian facilities are closed to the public. It's our day to wash all the dirty saddle pads, leg wraps & horse blankets or sheets we used over the prior week. I woke at the normal time. The last thing I remembered was sitting up on the side of the bed. It would be noon before I regained conscious. Surely someone was playing games with my clock!
The rest of the day was again "normal". But just in case - I made an appointment for the next week to get checked out by a local doctor. I didn't have a doctor so any one would do. Wrong!
The appointment was very short. The doctor did a cursory exam of my body - temperature, palpated glands, looked at my eyes - then sent me home with 30 days of antibiotics. I didn't like what he said - "I want you to come back in 30 days to run some tests. If I test you today it will show you have leukemia."
30 days later I was a "no show". I didn't want to face the answers to any tests. Besides I didn't have any more of those "naps". Those antibiotics must have done the trick. Well - or maybe not. Time would tell.
(Note to Self - Find photo of Silver Lining)
